August 27, 2014

ELAINE: You know, funerals always make me think about my own mortality and how I’m actually going to die someday. Me, dead. Imagine that.
GEORGE: They always make me take stock of my life and how I’ve pretty much wasted all of it, and how I plan to continue wasting it.
JERRY: I know, and then you say to yourself, “From this moment on, I’m not going to waste any more of it.” But then you go, “How? What can I do that’s not wasting it?”
ELAINE: Is this a waste of time? What should we be doing? Can’t you hae coffee with people?

(via The Pony Remark)

August 26, 2014
GEORGE: You know, I’ve been thinking.. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I’ll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How’s it gonna happen? I just don’t see how it could occur.

(via The Pony Remark)

GEORGE: You know, I’ve been thinking.. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I’ll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How’s it gonna happen? I just don’t see how it could occur.

(via The Pony Remark)

August 25, 2014
ELAINE: I actually like ponies. I was just trying to make conversation. 
(via The Pony Remark)

ELAINE: I actually like ponies. I was just trying to make conversation.

(via The Pony Remark)

August 24, 2014
JERRY: I didn’t even know the woman.HELEN: So don’t go.JERRY: I mean I met her three times. I don’t know her last name.HELEN: Jerry, no one’s forcing you.JERRY: I mean, who has a funeral on a Wednesday? That’s what I want to know. I mean, it’s the championship. I’m hitting everything.HELEN: I don’t have a dress to wear. (To Morty) And you. You don’t have anything.MORTY: I got a sport jacket.HELEN: You’re not wearing that to a funeral.MORTY: What’s wrong with it?HELEN: It looks ridiculous.MORTY: What? I’m gonna buy a new jacket now?JERRY: I don’t know what to do.MORTY: ..You know what this funeral’s gonna wind up costing me? Oh boy!
(via The Pony Remark)

JERRY: I didn’t even know the woman.
HELEN: So don’t go.
JERRY: I mean I met her three times. I don’t know her last name.
HELEN: Jerry, no one’s forcing you.
JERRY: I mean, who has a funeral on a Wednesday? That’s what I want to know. I mean, it’s the championship. I’m hitting everything.
HELEN: I don’t have a dress to wear. (To Morty) And you. You don’t have anything.
MORTY: I got a sport jacket.
HELEN: You’re not wearing that to a funeral.
MORTY: What’s wrong with it?
HELEN: It looks ridiculous.
MORTY: What? I’m gonna buy a new jacket now?
JERRY: I don’t know what to do.
MORTY: ..You know what this funeral’s gonna wind up costing me? Oh boy!

(via The Pony Remark)

August 23, 2014

HELEN: She just had a check-up. The doctor said she was fine. Unless..
JERRY: What?
HELEN: What? Nothing.
JERRY: You don’t think.. What? The pony remark?
HELEN: Oh, don’t be ridiculous. She was an old woman.
JERRY: You don’t think that I killed her?
MORTY: You know what the flight back’ll cost us?
JERRY: It was just an innocent comment! I didn’t know she had a pony!
MORTY: Maybe we can get an army transport flight. They got a base in Sarasota, I think.
JERRY: The whole thing ws taking out of context. It was a joke.

(via The Pony Remark)