April 15, 2014

JERRY:  You left the door open?!
KRAMER: Uh, Jer, well ya know, I was cookin’ and I, I uh, I came in to get this spatula…and I left the door open, ‘cause I was gonna bring the spatula right back!
JERRY: Wait, you left the lock open or the door open?
KRAMER:  The door.
JERRY: The door? You left the door open?
KRAMER: Yeah, well, I was gonna bring the spatula right back.
JERRY: Yeah, and?
KRAMER: Well, I got caught up… watching a soap opera… The Bold and the Beautiful.
JERRY: So the door was wide open?
KRAMER: Wide open!

(via The Robbery)

April 8, 2014
ELAINE: Jerry, come on, you’re doin’ OK now, you should at least take a look at this place. You shouldn’t have to live like this.JERRY: Like this? You just said, you wanted to live here.ELAINE: Well, for me it’s a step up. It’s like moving from Island to Finland.
(via The Robbery)

ELAINE: Jerry, come on, you’re doin’ OK now, you should at least take a look at this place. You shouldn’t have to live like this.
JERRY: Like this? You just said, you wanted to live here.
ELAINE: Well, for me it’s a step up. It’s like moving from Island to Finland.

(via The Robbery)

April 2, 2014
GEORGE: No no no, this one’s different, this one’s a beauty!JERRY: Yeah, what’s it like?GEORGE: I haven’t seen it yet, but it’s a “two-bedroom”, it’s on the uh, west 83rd, ‘bout a half block from the park?JERRY: How much?GEORGE: Uh, twice what you pay in here, but it’s a great building, it’s two bedrooms!JERRY: Two bedrooms? Why do I need two bedrooms? I got enough trouble maintaining activity in one.
(via The Robbery)

GEORGE: No no no, this one’s different, this one’s a beauty!
JERRY: Yeah, what’s it like?
GEORGE: I haven’t seen it yet, but it’s a “two-bedroom”, it’s on the uh, west 83rd, ‘bout a half block from the park?
JERRY: How much?
GEORGE: Uh, twice what you pay in here, but it’s a great building, it’s two bedrooms!
JERRY: Two bedrooms? Why do I need two bedrooms? I got enough
trouble maintaining activity in one.

(via The Robbery)

March 31, 2014

JERRY: There’s more, the refrigerator. [Opens it] Deduct a minimum of two days of all expiration dates. No meat, no leftovers, no butter. And I cannot overstate this: no soft cheeses of any kind. Is that clear?
ELAINE: I’ll eat out.
JERRY: One more thing, Benes, regarding sexual activity: strictly prohibited, but if you absolutely must, do us all a big favour: do it in the tub.

(via The Robbery)

March 27, 2014

JERRY: Is that it? Got the cue tips, got the mini-umbrella, something boring to read on the plane. That’s it. Done! 
ELAINE: [claps her hands] That is the single greatest packing performance I have ever seen.
JERRY: [proudly] I am…the master packer.

(via The Robber)