March 8, 2014
JERRY: (to Kramer) Who is it?KRAMER: Take it.JERRY: Who is it?KRAMER: It’s for you.JERRY: (into phone) Hello? Oh, hi Joel. .. No. I was out of town. I just got back.. Kramer doesn’t know anything.. He’s just my next-door neighbor. Uh.. nothing much.. Tuesday? Uh, Tuesday, no. I’m meeting somebody.. Uh, Wednesday? Wednesday’s okay.. Alright. Uh, I’m a little busy right now. Can we talk Wednesday morning? .. Okay.. yeah.. right.. thanks.. bye. (hangs up) Why did you put me on the phone with him? I hate just being handed a phone.KRAMER: Well, it’s your phone. He wanted to talk to youJERRY: Maybe I didn’t want to talk to him.KRAMER: Well, why not?JERRY: He bothers me. I don’t even answer the phone anymore because of him. He’s turned me into a screener. Now I gotta go see him on Wednesday. (via Male Unbonding)

JERRY: (to Kramer) Who is it?
KRAMER: Take it.
JERRY: Who is it?
KRAMER: It’s for you.
JERRY: (into phone) Hello? Oh, hi Joel. .. No. I was out of town. I just got back.. Kramer doesn’t know anything.. He’s just my next-door neighbor. Uh.. nothing much.. Tuesday? Uh, Tuesday, no. I’m meeting somebody.. Uh, Wednesday? Wednesday’s okay.. Alright. Uh, I’m a little busy right now. Can we talk Wednesday morning? .. Okay.. yeah.. right.. thanks.. bye. (hangs up) Why did you put me on the phone with him? I hate just being handed a phone.
KRAMER: Well, it’s your phone. He wanted to talk to you
JERRY: Maybe I didn’t want to talk to him.
KRAMER: Well, why not?
JERRY: He bothers me. I don’t even answer the phone anymore because of him. He’s turned me into a screener. Now I gotta go see him on Wednesday.

(via Male Unbonding)

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March 7, 2014
JERRY: So let me get this straight: she saw the floss, you panicked and you told her you liked her.GEORGE: If I didn’t put that floss in my pocket, I’d be crawling around her bedroom right now looking for my glasses.JERRY: And you’re sure the floss was the catalyst?GEORGE: Yes, I am.JERRY:  You don’t think it might’ve had anything to do with that?GEORGE: What? You don’t like this?JERRY: It looks like your belt is digesting a small animal. (via Male Unbonding)

JERRY: So let me get this straight: she saw the floss, you panicked and you told her you liked her.
GEORGE: If I didn’t put that floss in my pocket, I’d be crawling around her bedroom right now looking for my glasses.
JERRY: And you’re sure the floss was the catalyst?
GEORGE: Yes, I am.
JERRY:  You don’t think it might’ve had anything to do with that?
GEORGE: What? You don’t like this?
JERRY: It looks like your belt is digesting a small animal.

(via Male Unbonding)

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March 6, 2014

GEORGE: I’ll tell you when it happened. When that floss came flying out of my pocket.
JERRY: What floss? When?
GEORGE: We were in the lobby during the intermission of the play. I was buying her one of those containers of orange drink, for five dollars. I reached into my pocket to pay for it, I looked down; there’s this piece of green floss hanging from my fingers.
JERRY: Ah, mint.
GEORGE: Of course. So, I’m looking at it, I look up, I see she’s looking at it. Our eyes lock. It was a horrible moment. I just..

(via Male Unbonding)

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March 5, 2014
GEORGE: I had to say something. I had to say something. Everything was going so well; I had to say something.JERRY: I don’t think you did anything wrong.GEORGE: I told her I liked her. Why? Why did I tell her I like her? I have this sick compulsion to tell women how I feel. I like you I don’t tell you.JERRY: We can only thank God for that. (via Male Unbonding)

GEORGE: I had to say something. I had to say something. Everything was going so well; I had to say something.
JERRY: I don’t think you did anything wrong.
GEORGE: I told her I liked her. Why? Why did I tell her I like her? I have this sick compulsion to tell women how I feel. I like you I don’t tell you.
JERRY: We can only thank God for that.

(via Male Unbonding)

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March 4, 2014
GEORGE: Ya know a hug: definitely good.JERRY: Hug is definitely good.GEORGE: Sure.JERRY: Although what if it’s one of those hugs where the shoulders are touching, the hips are eight feet apart?GEORGE: That’s so brutal, I hate that.JERRY: Ya know how they do that?GEORGE: That’s why, ya know, a shake is bad.JERRY: Shake is bad, but what if it’s the “two-hander”? The hand on the bottom, the hand on the top, the warm look in the eyes?GEORGE: Hand-sandwich.JERRY: Right.GEORGE: I see, well, that’s open to interpretation. Because so much depends on the layering and the quality of the wetness in the eyes… (via The Seinfeld Chronicles)

GEORGE: Ya know a hug: definitely good.
JERRY: Hug is definitely good.
GEORGE: Sure.
JERRY: Although what if it’s one of those hugs where the shoulders are touching, the hips are eight feet apart?
GEORGE: That’s so brutal, I hate that.
JERRY: Ya know how they do that?
GEORGE: That’s why, ya know, a shake is bad.
JERRY: Shake is bad, but what if it’s the “two-hander”? The hand on the bottom, the hand on the top, the warm look in the eyes?
GEORGE: Hand-sandwich.
JERRY: Right.
GEORGE: I see, well, that’s open to interpretation. Because so much depends on the layering and the quality of the wetness in the eyes…

(via The Seinfeld Chronicles)

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