December 12, 2013
MAN: Hey! There’s a guy burning the Puerto Rican flag!BOB: Who! Who is burning the flag?!KRAMER: Oh, no.BOB: Him?!CEDRIC: That’s not very nice.KRAMER: It was an accident.BOB: Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!CEDRIC: Because it’s Puerto Rican day.BOB: Maybe we should stomp you like you stomp the flag! What do you think of that?KRAMER: Now look, I just have one thing to say to you boys. Mama! Kramer runs off screaming. The others give chase. (via The Puerto Rican Day)

MAN: Hey! There’s a guy burning the Puerto Rican flag!
BOB: Who! Who is burning the flag?!
KRAMER: Oh, no.
BOB: Him?!
CEDRIC: That’s not very nice.
KRAMER: It was an accident.
BOB: Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!
CEDRIC: Because it’s Puerto Rican day.
BOB: Maybe we should stomp you like you stomp the flag! What do you think of that?
KRAMER: Now look, I just have one thing to say to you boys. Mama!
Kramer runs off screaming. The others give chase.

(via The Puerto Rican Day)

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December 11, 2013
Jerry sits in the apartment watching TV.JERRY: Oh, that was a strike! Did you see that?! SALES WOMAN: Would you like to see the rest of the apartment, Mister, um—JERRY: Eh…Varnsen. Kel Varnsen. Actually, this room intrigues me. Why is it called the TV room?SALES WOMAN: Well, it’s—JERRY: Balk?! How was that a balk?! You have any snacks?SALES WOMAN: Mr. Varnsen, if you like the apartment, I should tell you I’ve also had some interest from a wealthy industrialist.JERRY: Not Pennypacker!SALES WOMAN: You know him?JERRY: I wish I didn’t. Brace yourself, madam, for an all-out bidding war. But this time, advantage Varnsen! (via The Puerto Rican Day)

Jerry sits in the apartment watching TV.
JERRY: Oh, that was a strike! Did you see that?!
SALES WOMAN: Would you like to see the rest of the apartment, Mister, um—
JERRY: Eh…Varnsen. Kel Varnsen. Actually, this room intrigues me. Why is it called the TV room?
SALES WOMAN: Well, it’s—
JERRY: Balk?! How was that a balk?! You have any snacks?
SALES WOMAN: Mr. Varnsen, if you like the apartment, I should tell you I’ve also had some interest from a wealthy industrialist.
JERRY: Not Pennypacker!
SALES WOMAN: You know him?
JERRY: I wish I didn’t. Brace yourself, madam, for an all-out bidding war. But this time, advantage Varnsen!

(via The Puerto Rican Day)

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December 10, 2013
JERRY: What seems to be the problem, officer?GEORGE: They’re for protection, Jerry. Can you tell where I’m lookin’?JERRY: At me?GEORGE: No.JERRY: Oh. It’s back.GEORGE: Bring it on, baby JERRY: What if it gets in the side?GEORGE: The side?JERRY: Yeah. Wouldn’t it just bounce back and forth between your cornea and the mirror, faster and faster, getting more and more intense, until finally-George rips off his glasses.GEORGE: All right!JERRY: Oh. It’s in your eye now.George runs off screaming. Kramer runs up to Jerry with a Puerto Rican flag draped around him. (via The Puerto Rican Day)

JERRY: What seems to be the problem, officer?
GEORGE: They’re for protection, Jerry. Can you tell where I’m lookin’?
JERRY: At me?
GEORGE: No.
JERRY: Oh. It’s back.
GEORGE: Bring it on, baby
JERRY: What if it gets in the side?
GEORGE: The side?
JERRY: Yeah. Wouldn’t it just bounce back and forth between your cornea and the mirror, faster and faster, getting more and more intense, until finally-
George rips off his glasses.
GEORGE: All right!
JERRY: Oh. It’s in your eye now.
George runs off screaming. Kramer runs up to Jerry with a Puerto Rican flag draped around him.

(via The Puerto Rican Day)

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December 9, 2013
KRAMER: Yes, uh, I’m interested in the apartment.SALES WOMAN: Yes! Come in, come in.KRAMER: Ok.SALES WOMAN: I’m Christine Nyhart.KRAMER: Oh. Delicious to meet you.SALES WOMAN: Did the broker send you over?KRAMER: Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I’m, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I’m a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I’m looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with. (sniffing wall) Mmm. Mombassa, hmm?SALES WOMAN: The asking price is $1.5 million.KRAMER: Oh, I spend that much on after shave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day. Now, I assume that there’s a waterfall grotto?SALES WOMAN: No.KRAMER: How about a bathroom?SALES WOMAN: It has 4.KRAMER: Yes, and where would the absolute nearest one be?SALES WOMAN: Just down the hall.KRAMER: Oh, thank you. (via The Puerto Rican Day)

KRAMER: Yes, uh, I’m interested in the apartment.
SALES WOMAN: Yes! Come in, come in.
KRAMER: Ok.
SALES WOMAN: I’m Christine Nyhart.
KRAMER: Oh. Delicious to meet you.
SALES WOMAN: Did the broker send you over?
KRAMER: Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I’m, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I’m a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I’m looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with. (sniffing wall) Mmm. Mombassa, hmm?
SALES WOMAN: The asking price is $1.5 million.
KRAMER: Oh, I spend that much on after shave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day. Now, I assume that there’s a waterfall grotto?
SALES WOMAN: No.
KRAMER: How about a bathroom?
SALES WOMAN: It has 4.
KRAMER: Yes, and where would the absolute nearest one be?
SALES WOMAN: Just down the hall.
KRAMER: Oh, thank you.

(via The Puerto Rican Day)

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December 5, 2013
KRAMER: Wow. He’s givin’ you a mustache. Where is this guy?GEORGE: Don’t look around. Don’t look around. That’s what he wants.ELAINE: All right. Well, I’ll see ya. Hey, George, I think there’s a sniper lookin’ to pop ya.Elaine leaves. GEORGE: This thing can’t hurt me, can it? I mean, it is a laser. What if it hits my eye?JERRY: I don’t know.GEORGE: I can’t be blind, Jerry The blind are courageous.KRAMER: You’ll be fine as long as it doesn’t hit you right in the pupil, ‘Cause then the whole ball will go up like the Death Star. Tchoo! I gotta go find a bathroom. (via The Puerto Rican Day)

KRAMER: Wow. He’s givin’ you a mustache. Where is this guy?
GEORGE: Don’t look around. Don’t look around. That’s what he wants.
ELAINE: All right. Well, I’ll see ya. Hey, George, I think there’s a sniper lookin’ to pop ya.
Elaine leaves.
GEORGE: This thing can’t hurt me, can it? I mean, it is a laser. What if it hits my eye?
JERRY: I don’t know.
GEORGE: I can’t be blind, Jerry The blind are courageous.
KRAMER: You’ll be fine as long as it doesn’t hit you right in the pupil, ‘Cause then the whole ball will go up like the Death Star. Tchoo! I gotta go find a bathroom.

(via The Puerto Rican Day)

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