July 24, 2014

ELAINE: So, I had what you might call a little encounter this morning.
JERRY: Really? That guy who stopped saying hello?
ELAINE: Yep.
JERRY: You talked to him?
ELAINE: Yep. I spotted him getting his mail. And at first, I was just going to walk on by, but then I thought “no, no, no, no. Do not be afraid of this man.”
JERRY: Right.
ELAINE: So, I walked up behind him and I tapped him on the shoulder. And I said, “Hi, remember me?” And he furrows his brow as if he’s really trying to figure it out. So I said to him, I said, “You little phony. You know exactly who I am.”
JERRY: “You little phony”?
ELAINE: I did. I most certainly did. And he said, he goes, “Oh, yeah. You’re Jeanette’s friend. We did meet once.” And I said, “Well, how do you go from that to totally ignoring a person when they walk by?”
JERRY: Amazing.
ELAINE: And he says, he says, “Look, I just didn’t want to say hello anymore, alright?” And I said, “Fine. Fine I didn’t want to say hello anymore either, but I wanted you to know that I’m aware of it.”

(via The Ex-Girlfriend)

July 23, 2014
(Phone rings)JERRY: (On his answering machine) Leave a message, I’ll call you back.MARLENE: (Leaving a message) Jerry, have you ever taken a bath in the dark? If I’m not talking into the soap right now, call me back.
(via The Ex-Girlfriend)

(Phone rings)
JERRY: (On his answering machine) Leave a message, I’ll call you back.
MARLENE: (Leaving a message) Jerry, have you ever taken a bath in the dark? If I’m not talking into the soap right now, call me back.

(via The Ex-Girlfriend)

July 14, 2014

JERRY: Marlene
KRAMER: (Smiles) Oh. Oh, Marlene.
JERRY: Yeah, I took her home one night - we kinda started up a little bit in the car.
KRAMER: I thought you were trying to get rid of her?
JERRY: I was. She’s got me, like, hypnotized.
KRAMER: Does George know?
JERRY: No, he’d go nuts.
KRAMER: Yeah, no kidding.
JERRY: I feel terrible. I mean, I’ve seen her a couple of times since then, and I know I can’t go any further, but.. I’ve just got this like, psycho-sexual hold over me. I just want her, I can’t breathe. It’s like a drug.
KRAMER: Woah, psycho-sexual.
JERRY: I don’t know how I’m going to tell him.
KRAMER: Man, I don’t understand people. I mean, why would George want to deprive you of pleasure? Is it just me?
JERRY: It’s partially you, yeah.

(via The Ex-Girlfriend)

July 11, 2014

KRAMER: Hey.
JERRY: Hey.
KRAMER: I got it! This time, I got it!
JERRY: Alright.
KRAMER: Hips! See, it’s all hips.
JERRY: Uh-huh.
KRAMER: You gotta come through with the hips first.
JERRY: That is out there.

(via The Ex-Girlfriend)

July 10, 2014
MARLENE: Are you feeling weird?JERRY: No, I’m fine.MARLENE: Nothing really happened.JERRY: Yeah, I know.MARLENE: We just kissed a little. People kiss.JERRY: Yeah.MARLENE: Well.. night.
(via The Ex-Girlfriend)

MARLENE: Are you feeling weird?
JERRY: No, I’m fine.
MARLENE: Nothing really happened.
JERRY: Yeah, I know.
MARLENE: We just kissed a little. People kiss.
JERRY: Yeah.
MARLENE: Well.. night.

(via The Ex-Girlfriend)