Tumblr (3.0; @dailyseinfeld)http://dailyseinfeld.com/<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/6e8c54fc28733d45a3167164d01aba76/tumblr_mn5fpzW8nf1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GEORGE</strong>: There must be some way to find out.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Amy said nothing happened.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: What, you’re gonna take her word over mine? I’m your best friend!<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Yeah, but you’re <span class="kLink"><span class="kLink">blind</span></span> as a bat!<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I was squinting! Remember that drive from Wortsborough? I was spotting those raccoons. <br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: They were mailboxes, you idiot. I didn’t have the heart to tell you.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50996321830http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50996321830Tue, 21 May 2013 12:30:16 -0400The GlassesSeinfeldTelevisionEP67<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/698f5acb6b69eba8a6dd085a912c20f4/tumblr_mn3wckrtaN1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>Elaine</strong>: So I guess you’re not going to Todd’s party on Friday.<br/><strong>George</strong>: Well I can’t now, Gwen’s going to be there.<br/><strong>Kramer</strong>: Well she should be the one that shouldn’t go.<br/><strong>Jerry</strong>: Well if a couple breaks up and have plans to go to a neutral place, who withdraws? What’s the ettiquite? <br/><strong>Kramer</strong>: Excellent question.<br/><strong>Jerry</strong>: I think she should withdraw. She’s the breaker, he’s the breakee. He needs to get on with his life.<br/><strong>Elaine</strong>: I beg to differ.<br/><strong>Jerry</strong>: Really.<br/><strong>Elaine</strong>: He’s the *loser*. She’s the victor. To the victor belong the spoils.<br/><strong>Jerry</strong>: Well I don’t care, I don’t want to go anyway. I don’t want to fight that traffic on Friday night.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheLipReader.htm" target="_blank">The Lip Reader</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50916011003http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50916011003Mon, 20 May 2013 12:55:32 -0400The Lip ReaderSeinfeldTelevisionEP70<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/5250942d7186ce4b5259af1399aaf260/tumblr_mlzlwd9APd1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/8079066e2965f718a1b23be0bde1d29a/tumblr_mlzlwd9APd1qza49co2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><strong>JERRY</strong>: I was an idiot for listening to you!<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Hey, I saw what I saw.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Ooh, everything was going so well. She hadn’t seen any flaws in me. Now she sees a side. <br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: What side?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: A bad side, an ugly side. <br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Ooh, so what?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: So what? I wasn’t planning on showing that side for another six months. Now you make me throw off the whole learning curve.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Why don’t you just ask Jeffrey?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Ah, he’d just deny it.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50829003981http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50829003981Sun, 19 May 2013 12:30:07 -0400The GlassesSeinfeldTelevisionEP67<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/7dc2f41a0eb005a8f909b28b2ab73b8e/tumblr_mlzlteWgnY1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>AMY</strong>: Look, I think I’m gonna go.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Why?<br/><strong>AMY</strong>: It’s really hot in here.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Uuh, so we can still go out on Friday though?<br/><strong>AMY</strong>: Yeah. When are you getting an air conditioner?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: It’s coming! It’s a Commando 8! 12.000 BTU’s! It’s gonna be like a meat locker in here.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50737665631http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50737665631Sat, 18 May 2013 12:30:16 -0400GlassesSeinfeldTelevisionEP67<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/871ac1dae983e57a4df8a58696342dbd/tumblr_mlzll9dJi61qza49co1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/fe2c7086d2db697280418f8861e56700/tumblr_mlzll9dJi61qza49co2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><strong>JERRY</strong>: Now, look at this. Cable’s out.<br/><strong>AMY</strong>: Oh that’s okay, we don’t have to watch tv.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: No, no, no. No trouble at all, it’s a principal the thing. <br/> (<em>Jerry picks up the phone and dials the number</em>)<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: I like them to know that I know what’s going on. That they’re not… getting away with anything. Oh, I’m on hold. So, what did you do yesterday?<br/><strong>AMY</strong>: Yesterday?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Yeah, you remember yesterday? Beautiful day… good day to be… out.<br/><strong>AMY</strong>: I didn’t do anything.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Oh you must have done something.<br/><strong>AMY</strong>: No, nothing really.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Didn’t go out of the house? Didn’t take a walk… on Columbus Avenue?<br/><strong>AMY</strong>: Well, I did go out for a little while.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Well, your day’s getting more interesting already.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50658944073http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50658944073Fri, 17 May 2013 12:30:17 -0400The GlassesSeinfeldTelevisionEP67<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/e4bb300f17878fa7fbcf33ea3e187d3c/tumblr_mlzli2r7vB1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/a68322cfa3a999353460a2b7d09d7584/tumblr_mlzli2r7vB1qza49co2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><strong>DOCTOR</strong>: Okay.<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Okay? That’s it? I don’t need a shot?<br/><strong>DOCTOR</strong>: Not shot, dog bite.<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: No, no, no. I know I wasn’t shot. Do I <em>need</em> a shot?<br/><strong>DOCTOR</strong>: Not shot, dog bite. Woof woof, not bang bang.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50583503238http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50583503238Thu, 16 May 2013 12:30:00 -0400The GlassesSeinfledTelevisionEP67<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/499fa1cad0dec000471c01d8d454a908/tumblr_mlzlf1KGVW1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Kramer…<br/><strong>DWAYNE</strong>: What?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Kramer…<br/><strong>DWAYNE</strong>: What about him?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: You do know Kramer?<br/><strong>DWAYNE</strong>: Yes…<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Well, I’m mentioning his name.<br/><strong>DWAYNE</strong>: Why?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Because… you know… <br/><strong>DWAYNE</strong>: No, I don’t know. Look, I’m gonna need a deposit on these.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50502827512http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50502827512Wed, 15 May 2013 12:30:07 -0400The GlassesSeinfledTelevisionEP67<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/41252d831c20b105d2dd6465f4f83394/tumblr_mlzlcbLk9H1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>ELAINE</strong>: My leg looks pretty bad.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Oh I’m gonna take you over to the emergency room.<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Okay.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: (<em>To George</em>:) Hey, any luck? Did you catch ‘em?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Uuh, no. <br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: All right, I’m gonna take Elaine over to the hospital.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: (<em>In a really strange way</em>:) Good, good, do that.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: What’s the matter?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Oh, no, nothing. <br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: What is it?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I can’t tell you.<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Jerry, can we go?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Yeah, yeah, in a second, in a second. (<em>And to George</em>:) What do you mean you can’t tell me?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I can’t tell you, don’t ask.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: I’m asking!<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Jerry, my leg.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Yeah, yeah, take care.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50426639082http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50426639082Tue, 14 May 2013 12:30:13 -0400The GlassesSeinfeldTelevisionEP67<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/5653b2be97db96955ca8fb4312eda8c6/tumblr_mlzl7v7k4c1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GEORGE</strong>: What kind of a sick, demented person wants another person’s glasses?<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Yeah, especially those frames.<br/><strong>KRAMER</strong>: You know you ought to do? Go see my friend Dwayne at J & T <span class="kLink"><span class="kLink">Optical</span></span> and Columbus Avenue. He’ll give you thirty percent off.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Yeah, come on.<br/><strong>JERRY:</strong> Hey, he just got me thirty percent off on an air conditioner.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Really?<br/><strong>KRAMER</strong>: Retail is for suckers.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Wow. What do I have to do?<br/><strong>KRAMER</strong>: You just gotta mention my name.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: That’s it?<br/><strong>KRAMER</strong>: That’s it.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50348533611http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50348533611Mon, 13 May 2013 12:30:18 -0400The GlassesSeinfeldTelevisionEP67<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/c17bb8fac2964ef24b76e3cb928f009a/tumblr_mlzl3pjHBL1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Now if I wanna see anything I gotta wear these.<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: George, those are prescription goggles? What is there to see in a health club pool?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: There’s a lot of change down there.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: When I find that guy, this much I vow: those glasses will be returned to their rightful owner. <br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: We’re behind you, <span class="kLink"><span class="kLink">Aquaboy</span></span>. Godspeed!</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50266990467http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50266990467Sun, 12 May 2013 12:30:21 -0400The GlassesSeinfeldTelevisionEP67<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/250d72705c1067330b16039bd5cf4f5d/tumblr_mlzl1a4wwc1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I gotta get out of this city.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: So you’re tunneling to the center of the Earth?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I’m at the health club and while I’m in the pool, some guy walks off with my glasses. Who steals prescription glasses?<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: You don’t have an old pair?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I broke ‘em playing basketball.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: He was running from a bee.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50175134212http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50175134212Sat, 11 May 2013 12:30:17 -0400The GlassesSeinfledTelevisionEP67<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/5c08c682c5bcd6f71a61720395406a0a/tumblr_mlzkysdHRD1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p>(<em>George enters the apartment wearing goggles</em>)<br/><strong>KRAMER</strong>: Yeah, rock on!</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50095731799http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50095731799Fri, 10 May 2013 12:30:01 -0400The GlassesSeinfledTelevisionEP67<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/b2920c9a56015a4d5c51c49b4f69b742/tumblr_mlsoitJGn21qza49co1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/12b7f2e269ea05e5b3d169d873606735/tumblr_mlsoitJGn21qza49co2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><strong>ELAINE</strong>: I thought you hated air <span class="kLink"><span class="kLink">conditioning</span></span>. You’ve never had an air conditioner.<br/><strong>KRAMER</strong>: Yeah, but Amy likes air conditioning.<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Oooh, you’re getting an air conditioner for Amy. (In a wining voice:) Amy doesn’t like the temperature up here. She’s a little hoooot.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: All right.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html" target="_blank">The Glasses</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50019175296http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/50019175296Thu, 09 May 2013 12:30:16 -0400The GlassesSeinfeldTelevisionEP66<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/7bd57542e28a923b136a4937cc5b7d0f/tumblr_mlsnzcIShl1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>JERRY</strong>: It’s all George’s fault. All that talk about impotence. He got to me. And that orgasm stuff: orgasm this and orgasm that. It’s a lot of pressure!<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: You know I’m a little hungry. You wouldn’t happen to have any of that mango left?</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMango.html" target="_blank">The Mango</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49940266602http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49940266602Wed, 08 May 2013 12:30:29 -0400The MangoSeinfeldTelevisionEP65<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/a34bc25673b3b25b2884978fcc7a1852/tumblr_mlsnxmDrur1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>KARIN</strong>: Oh George, oooh.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Please, it’s not necessary.<br/><strong>KARIN</strong>: What do you mean it’s not necessary?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: The little extra moan you threw in there. Laying it on a bit thick, don’t you think?<br/><strong>KARIN</strong>: What are you talking about?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: What am I talking about? Come on. You don’t think I bought all that?<br/><strong>KARIN</strong>: What, what?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: You’re very good. Very good with the moanings and the gyrations. You really had me going there for a minute.<br/><strong>KARIN</strong>: You think I was faking?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Come on: ‘Oh George, oh Geeeooorge!’ Come on! Not that I don’t appreciate the effort that was put into it.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMango.html" target="_blank">The Mango</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49861385450http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49861385450Tue, 07 May 2013 12:30:02 -0400The MangoSeinfeldTelevisionEP65<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/bbf81f2a7497fffea1fe91f6aa5db4c1/tumblr_mlsnuhJ73V1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/44a073844853a3296b7758a45cd41baf/tumblr_mlsnuhJ73V1qza49co2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Look, Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Sex… to save the friendship. Well, if we have to…</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMango.html" target="_blank">The Mango</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49781198520http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49781198520Mon, 06 May 2013 12:30:18 -0400The MangoSeinfeldTelevisionEP65<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/8dedc76f3af30aa07f31343d973fff8a/tumblr_mlsnsu9auP1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/3396e985919252b869314281429cc1f3/tumblr_mlsnsu9auP1qza49co2_500.png"/><br/> <br/><p><strong>ELAINE</strong>: All right, let’s go, I give you half an hour.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: What?<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Come on!<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Are you serious?</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMango.html" target="_blank">The Mango</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49695342173http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49695342173Sun, 05 May 2013 12:30:19 -0400The MangoSeinfeldTelevisionEP65<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/365989fb45611e127f50f8cd126f071a/tumblr_mlsnq4nn7w1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>JERRY</strong>: Well well, if it isn’t the first lady of the American Theatre. What brings you here?<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Just gonna return some of your things that were in my house. <br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Oh and I’ve got some things of yours here.<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: I know.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: Well I’ll get them.<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: I’m waiting.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: All right. You got my fins?<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Yeah I got your fins. You got my poker chips?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: I got your poker chips. You got my goggles?<br/><strong>ELAINE</strong>: They’re next to the fins. You got my cards?<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: They’re next to the poker chips.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMango.html" target="_blank">The Mango</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49602218301http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49602218301Sat, 04 May 2013 12:30:15 -0400The MangoSeinfeldTelevisionEP65<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/4b5f3759c8e3c2469879fb1f21d4e9f8/tumblr_mlsno69exv1qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>ELAINE</strong>: Hi George.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I’m back, baby, I’m back!</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMango.html" target="_blank">The Mango</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49519310112http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49519310112Fri, 03 May 2013 12:30:11 -0400The MangoSeinfeldTelevisionEP65<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/05f7da6d76a956251ecc9675ab95b57b/tumblr_mlsn91eue21qza49co1_500.png"/><br/><br/><p><strong>KRAMER</strong>: Come on, come on, we’re gonna pay you! Here have some mango.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I don’t want any mango.<br/><strong>KRAMER</strong>: Come on, take some. It’s good.<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: Very good. Juicy. Ripe. This Joe’s got some terrific fruit. <br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: What?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I feel like I got a B12 shot. This is like a taste explosion!<br/><strong>KRAMER</strong>: I told you.<br/><strong>JERRY</strong>: What is it?<br/><strong>GEORGE</strong>: I think it moved. Oh my god, I think it moved. Yeah, give me the big piece. I’ll see you later.</p> <p>(via <a href="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMango.html" target="_blank">The Mango</a>)</p>http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49443514912http://dailyseinfeld.com/post/49443514912Thu, 02 May 2013 12:30:27 -0400The MangoSeinfeldTelevisionEP65